I am watching the news a lot – always dangerous I know – and have been thinking about all of these people stuck inside in the northern hemisphere during the crisis. Either because they’re in lockdown or quarantine or just taking precautions.
I wanted to do something for everyone because I know money will be tighter for everyone with this crisis going on as well with reduced work – or no work – for many and higher costs as well. That coupled with being stuck inside and wow, not a lot of fun for anyone!
To stop y’all getting too bored during the lock-in or lockdown or quarantine or going crazy with four kids at home, I have reduced the price for all of my Smashwords catalog by 30 percent for a month from today, and have set up a few Amazon deals for the coming month as well (although, these start on the 22nd).
Over the Christmas-New Year break, I did something as a little personal celebration for His Little Earthling‘s release, and to celebrate how the book was doing so well! This was also because I wanted to join legions of people all over the world who have jumped on the ovipositor bandwagon, because hey, who doesn’t need a novelty product that is this unique, right!?
Ovipositors are a sex toy that appear like something between male and female sex organs (as you can see in the photos below) and which ‘ejaculate’ eggs into the person while playing. Since Primal Hardware (the toy company that makes them) has burst onto the scene, I feel like every sex blogger, writer and journalist is talking about them, so I have been curious about ovipositors for a really long time.
After the Ovipositor arrived – it’s actually a model called Splorch on their website – I took it out of the box and mostly just admired it. Splorgy – as the alien ovipositor came to be known to me – was actually really pretty. I was surprised by how pretty. I wanted to touch Splorgy’s skin, to know if Splorgy actually felt as good as others had said.
So I unwrapped Splorgy, unable to really help myself. After poking and prodding at Splorgy’s skin for a little while with my hands which likely weren’t very clean, I decided to give Splorgy a little rub down with some soap and hot water.
When Spology was all clean, I let Splorgy air dry while I continued to admire just how pretty Spology was, and seriously how great Splorgy’s skin felt!
Happily for me too, it was a warm day and Splorgy didn’t take too long to dry…
Now, I had had to prepare for this, which is something that I am not used to doing when I play with sex toys. Although it is usually spontaneous (and not for a review on the blog) you can’t be too spontaneous with this, or, you could, sort of, not really.
To use the ovipositor – which is essentially a little device you use to push eggs into your vagina or butt to make yourself feel full – you had to have the eggs in the first place.
To make the eggs, I went out and got some of this stuff (brand not important):
To purchase my Gelatine Powder I actually had to ask my mum for some help. As in, “where would I buy this stuff?” I guess I could have asked someone at the supermarket because when I told her about it she asked me what I was going to use it for. This was how the discussion went:
Me: I want to buy some gelatine, not jelly [what Australians call jell-o] but gelatine.
Mum: What do you want that for?
Me: Saw a recipe that needed it [not a lie, they send you a recipe to make gelatine eggs with Splorgy]
Mum: What kind of recipe?
Me: A recipe that needed gelatine.
Me, wondering if my mum had an ovipositor of her own and know what I was really up to: Are you going to tell me, or is it a secret?
Mum: A lot of deserts use gelatine powder. Here’s where to find it in the supermarket.
Me, realizing mum probably just wanted to try my cooking and that I was maybe just being a little paranoid thinking she knew what I was really doing: Oh, right. Thanks.
With that awkward interlude over, I took my gelatine and I made me some eggies! Or, I made Splorgy some eggs. I don’t think they’re actually my eggs, I think my alien sex toy is just using me to gestate its tasty desert-y offspring, just saying.
I made two sized eggs, then only used one size. But, the others are in my fridge still, so maybe when I get that hottie drunk tomorrow night he can help me hatch those alien offspring…
The eggs I used were actually quite cute, and fit right in my hand…
Then, of course, the eggie had to go into Splorgy. The first time I tried this I found it fit while using very little lube, but then subsequent times, I found that things ran a lot more smoothly if I used as much lube as I dared. This is the type of play where you can use a heap of lube and not feel like you’re going to drown. Lots of lube is a good thing!
Also, those eggs which I thought – and had read on the website – would melt inside my body, actually took longer than I thought to melt. You could even take one that had been inside you and put it back in the ovipositor for re-insertion if you wanted. Although I would not share these among people. I would use eggs on just the one person, the swap them out for new eggs if more than one person is having them inserted in the one session.
All in all, I don’t know if this type of play was for me, but it was cool to give it a go! I can see people who have serious alien fantasies – which is a number of my readers if His Little Earthling’s sales numbers are anything to go by – or if you just want to feel full, or try something a bit different to spice things up!
I would love to hear more people’s stories about this toy. Especially the funny ones, like mine with the mum conversation. Feel free to comment below or send me a message, my alien sex toy loving friends!
Until next time – Happy Reading!
S. L. Finlay
I received a free toy in exchange for an honest review, all opinions are my own and I have not received any financial compensation for this review. To purchase you rown ovipositor or check out their other cool toys, head over to the Primal Hardware website.
So, a couple months ago when I was writing His Little Earthling, I had contacted Primal Hardware, the company who makes the famous ovipositor and asked if I could review their toy as a sort of celebration of my alien romance book release – and also because this sounds like the coolest toy ever!
Well, it’s here, and I’m in my kitchen making gelatin eggs… wish me luck!
Everything went terribly wrong with this new release, but somehow it still worked out, let me tell you how.
First of all, I published the book directly to Amazon without a pre-order period. I was all about the pre-orders in the past, but as I have been having less and less time to devote to promoting them, I have been doing them less and less until now when I just publish to Amazon the day before I plan for the book to be live.
Amazon says it can take up to three days for a book to go live once you’ve hit publish, but I have never had a book take three days before. They’re usually up within a day or two,
This latest one went live only a few hours after I went to publish it, which meant that none of my reviewers were expecting to review it yet (sorry guys!) so there weren’t any reviews.
Then there was no promotion because I hadn’t had a chance to email y’all yet (hi!)
Then, the cover didn’t work. Something going on in Amazon’s back end, which I’m getting them to look at. But still, the second time anyone has seen this gorgeous cover (my email list saw it before y’all, sorry not sorry!)
But you know what, even without reviews and promotion and a cover (so, all of the important stuff), the book is selling!
I woke up this morning to sales of the book, and have been surprised to see them increasing as I ran around putting out fires.
I was so happy to see something in the blurb or the look inside or having enjoyed my previous works meant people were reaching for this new book.
So thank you all for your support if you’ve already purchased a copy!
If you have not purchased a copy though and want to know a little more about what all the fuss is over, well… here’s your chance…
He’s an alien. She’s a paranormal researcher. It couldn’t be any more perfect that it’s her he has to abduct.
When Jenny is taken from her bed in the middle of the night by little gray men – from a UFO conference of all places – she finds herself delivered into the arms of an unlikely suitor.
He is tall, broad, deadly sexy and purple.
Dr. Jora – or Jack, as he goes by – is as curious about Jenny as she is him, and an unlikely coupling begins to take shape.
But what happens when they return to Jack’s home planet and Jenny is forced to question everything she thought she knew about humanity and herself? Will Jack step up and be the strong man she needs, or will he slink away in search of greener pastures?
This is an alien age play romance with plenty of twists and turns. A short and dirty read for adventurous readers who love a bit of fun and sexy sprinkled in their stories.
Some of you have already noticed that earlier this week I added the commission me page to the website. I have had a good response so far, and of course, can always fit new commissions in so don’t hesitate with those emails guys!
For some time I have been receiving emails from people wanting to commission custom stories. At the start, I didn’t quite know what to do then after some time I discovered that this wasn’t uncommon for erotica and romance authors and many would write custom stories between releases for their biggest fans.
When I discovered this, I decided it was something I would have to give a try. The very next time I was approached, I offered to write the story – a hot little spanking tale the reader wanted that would have the main characters have hers and her husband’s names as a gift to him – I offered to write for market rates and she gleefully accepted. I then went to write the thing and was really happy to hear about how it had been a fantastic gift for the lady’s husband.
I have not stopped since.
If you are looking for an author to commission for your naughty erotic stories, you’ve found me! Read a little on my commission page then get in touch. I am always happy to help my readers!
If you have been following me on twitter, or are on the email list, you will have seen this excerpt already, but I wanted to share it here as I know not everyone is connected with me in these ways.
Squeee, love this book!
“You really want this, don’t you?” He asked.
“Yes.” I said honestly, breathlessly.
“Yes what?” He asked.
“Yes, daddy.” I told him, the words feeling both naughty and exciting. As though I had always been meant to say them, but had held back too much before. Now he had freed me.
Isn’t that just the best feeling ever!? You have this fetish you have always loved or wanted to try, or even just a word that feels too naughty to say, or too naughty to claim, and you do… and it’s such a massive win for you in claiming your desires.