Over the Christmas-New Year break, I did something as a little personal celebration for His Little Earthling‘s release, and to celebrate how the book was doing so well! This was also because I wanted to join legions of people all over the world who have jumped on the ovipositor bandwagon, because hey, who doesn’t need a novelty product that is this unique, right!?
Ovipositors are a sex toy that appear like something between male and female sex organs (as you can see in the photos below) and which ‘ejaculate’ eggs into the person while playing. Since Primal Hardware (the toy company that makes them) has burst onto the scene, I feel like every sex blogger, writer and journalist is talking about them, so I have been curious about ovipositors for a really long time.
After the Ovipositor arrived – it’s actually a model called Splorch on their website – I took it out of the box and mostly just admired it. Splorgy – as the alien ovipositor came to be known to me – was actually really pretty. I was surprised by how pretty. I wanted to touch Splorgy’s skin, to know if Splorgy actually felt as good as others had said.
So I unwrapped Splorgy, unable to really help myself. After poking and prodding at Splorgy’s skin for a little while with my hands which likely weren’t very clean, I decided to give Splorgy a little rub down with some soap and hot water.
When Spology was all clean, I let Splorgy air dry while I continued to admire just how pretty Spology was, and seriously how great Splorgy’s skin felt!
Happily for me too, it was a warm day and Splorgy didn’t take too long to dry…
Now, I had had to prepare for this, which is something that I am not used to doing when I play with sex toys. Although it is usually spontaneous (and not for a review on the blog) you can’t be too spontaneous with this, or, you could, sort of, not really.
To use the ovipositor – which is essentially a little device you use to push eggs into your vagina or butt to make yourself feel full – you had to have the eggs in the first place.
To make the eggs, I went out and got some of this stuff (brand not important):
To purchase my Gelatine Powder I actually had to ask my mum for some help. As in, “where would I buy this stuff?” I guess I could have asked someone at the supermarket because when I told her about it she asked me what I was going to use it for. This was how the discussion went:
Me: I want to buy some gelatine, not jelly [what Australians call jell-o] but gelatine.
Mum: What do you want that for?
Me: Saw a recipe that needed it [not a lie, they send you a recipe to make gelatine eggs with Splorgy]
Mum: What kind of recipe?
Me: A recipe that needed gelatine.
Me, wondering if my mum had an ovipositor of her own and know what I was really up to: Are you going to tell me, or is it a secret?
Mum: A lot of deserts use gelatine powder. Here’s where to find it in the supermarket.
Me, realizing mum probably just wanted to try my cooking and that I was maybe just being a little paranoid thinking she knew what I was really doing: Oh, right. Thanks.
With that awkward interlude over, I took my gelatine and I made me some eggies! Or, I made Splorgy some eggs. I don’t think they’re actually my eggs, I think my alien sex toy is just using me to gestate its tasty desert-y offspring, just saying.
I made two sized eggs, then only used one size. But, the others are in my fridge still, so maybe when I get that hottie drunk tomorrow night he can help me hatch those alien offspring…
The eggs I used were actually quite cute, and fit right in my hand…
Then, of course, the eggie had to go into Splorgy. The first time I tried this I found it fit while using very little lube, but then subsequent times, I found that things ran a lot more smoothly if I used as much lube as I dared. This is the type of play where you can use a heap of lube and not feel like you’re going to drown. Lots of lube is a good thing!
Also, those eggs which I thought – and had read on the website – would melt inside my body, actually took longer than I thought to melt. You could even take one that had been inside you and put it back in the ovipositor for re-insertion if you wanted. Although I would not share these among people. I would use eggs on just the one person, the swap them out for new eggs if more than one person is having them inserted in the one session.
All in all, I don’t know if this type of play was for me, but it was cool to give it a go! I can see people who have serious alien fantasies – which is a number of my readers if His Little Earthling’s sales numbers are anything to go by – or if you just want to feel full, or try something a bit different to spice things up!
I would love to hear more people’s stories about this toy. Especially the funny ones, like mine with the mum conversation. Feel free to comment below or send me a message, my alien sex toy loving friends!
Until next time – Happy Reading!
S. L. Finlay
I received a free toy in exchange for an honest review, all opinions are my own and I have not received any financial compensation for this review. To purchase you rown ovipositor or check out their other cool toys, head over to the Primal Hardware website.